Full disclosure: I’ve loved Elton John forever. And when I learned he and his partner were welcoming a new addition to their family, I felt the same strange combination of envy and warm welcoming I usually feeling on hearing about another little child coming into the world. (I love babies.) It’s my genuine wish that, as Elton John once suggested in a favourite song of mine, little baby Zachary will be blessed.
But the poor little guy has gotten off to a bit of a rocky start in the United States.
It seems that a grocery store in Arkansas, prompted by a customer complaint, hid the US Weekly cover featuring the new family beneath a plastic “Family Shield”. This is not an implement designed to shield families; rather, it’s meant to conceal racy cover images on the kinds of magazines they usually kept hidden behind the counter in more innocent times. The kind of magazines that, once purchased, get stored under the mattress.
Perplexed, I checked out the cover image as it appears under the shield, wondering what they possibly could’ve come up with that would cause such scandal. And sure enough, there was no scandal to be found. Just a couple of relatively ordinary guys smiling for the camera, posing with an adorable-but-ordinary baby. No nudity, no suggestive poses, no sex tips. Nothing to see here, folks. The same sort of thing you see every time a celebrity couple has a child, whether biological or adoptive.
Oh, right. Except Zachary’s got two daddies.
And in fact, it seems that was exactly what the customer complaint was about. That’s why Harps brought out the Family Shield. To shield sensitive young eyes from Zachary’s family.